There was hardly room to stand it was church revival night
All hoping for that Gospel man to help them make things right
The preacher wasn’t very tall, so he climbed up on a chair
Gazed around that crowded hall and told the people there
One of you out there is having trouble with your wife
Another’s just not getting any pleasure out of life
A mother’s all upset because her kid is into pot
A young man hopes that raise is coming
But he knows it’s not
Well, you’ve got troubles, real troubles
I can see just by looking at your face
That you have troubles, real troubles
I say welcome, welcome to the human race
Some folks look for comfort in the bottom of a glass
They figure if they drown a problem it will surely pass
But an alcohol solution’s not the remedy for you
Take one problem to a bar and you wake up with two
Some people pin their hopes on wealth to overcome all woes
As they scheme and cheat and steal their desperation grows
For some a life in prison is the ultimate reward
Some things we think are free are too expensive to afford
The question’s not do you have problems
That’s the human state
Tell me how you cope with them
I’ll tell you how you rate
Take this from a man I know who’s pushing ninety-five
If you wake up and got ‘em
Thank God! You’re still alive!
Don’t ignore your problems, review each one and then
Live with those you have to, solve the ones you can
Never let them get you down, I’m telling you it’s true
You don’t have a problem if the problem don’t have you
Yes, you have troubles, real troubles
I can see just by looking at your face
So welcome friend, welcome to the human race
---With thanks to Judge Patrick D. Monserrate