Weirdliness

Early every morning before the sun is up

I go out in the back yard, feed my little pup

He sure loves that doggy, the neighbors all have said

Hell, it ain't the dog I love it's going back to bed

Sure I'm weird, a fruitcake, too

Every other day I shine the other shoe

Condition first, then I shampoo

But nobody's laughing at me cause I've got you

I buy my shoes two sizes big in case my feet should grow

And I phone in fake opinions to a radio talk show

I don't put on my trousers like other fellows do

I jump right in both feet at once and grab that zipper too

Sure I'm weird, from outer space

I have brushed my teeth with Preparation H

I wear long johns, suspenders too

But nobody's laughing at me ‘cause I've got you

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When I wake up each morning on my head I have a cat

When I go out fishing my bait is in my hat

Always have a whistle hanging by the phone

All of those crank callers are leaving me alone

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Sure I'm weird, so I've been told

Saving all my bottles to spend when I get old

Squirt hair spray on my arm pits too

But nobody's laughing at me ‘cause I've got you

Up your down escalator and in your out door, too

Always doing something someone says I shouldn't do

I wear six pairs of sox at once, saves time without a doubt

When the top pair gets dirty, I just peel 'em off and throw 'em out

Sure I'm weird, can't say I'm not.

First I drink my chaser, then I drink my shot

Think that's weird? Well, I do too

But nobody's laughing at me 'cause I got you