I woke up with a dog licking on my face
Grabbed a chair and climbed up to my knees
My jeans were out of money and my jaw was out of place
Lord, it ain’t easy being me
* * * * * *
No, it ain’t easy being me
Sometimes I think I’m only here to see
Just how low and foolish one silly ass can be
Lord, it ain’t easy being me
* * * * * *
I never knew that woman was the bongo player’s wife
And he owned a martial arts academy
It cost two teeth and a broken nose
It almost cost my life
Lord it ain’t easy being me
I’m in these bushes pickin' for some empties I tossed here
Must have thrown a hundred, I found three
Still six bits short of stickin’ my mustache in a beer
Lord it ain’t easy being me
* * * * * *
Lord it ain’t easy being me
I picked the winner in the lottery
Washed the ticket with my laundry
Came out white as white could be
Lord it ain’t easy being me