I’VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE IN THE POCKET OF MY PANTS
THE LETTER MY BOSS WILL GET FROM ME
IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO SEE ME AT WORK…NO CHANCE
I WON THE STATE LOTTERY
YES BOSS, I WON THE LOTTERY, YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AT WORK
PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE ROYALTY
AND PEOPLE TREAT YOU…LIKE A JERK
I TOOK MY BIRTHDAY, MY BIRTH YEAR AND MY BIRTH MARK
DIVIDED ‘EM ALL BY TWO
THEN I SUBTRACTED THE SPAN OF MY WIFE’S FRYING PAN
FROM THE SIZE OF MY DAD’S ARMY SHOE
MY SHIRT NECK, MY INSTEP, AND MY IQ SQUARED
I WROTE ‘EM ALL DOWN, NOW I’M RICH
MY SON’S THE SON OF A MILLIONAIRE, AND YOUR SON’S A SON
OF A JERK
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW A ROLLS ROYCE FEELS
GET IN MY WAY AND YOU WILL
YOU’RE RIGHT ON TOP OF MY LIST OF HEELS
AND I’D LOVE YOU ON TOP OF MY GRILL
HEY BOSS, I WON THAT LOTTERY, YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AT WORK
I’M SITTING HERE IN THE LAP OF LUXURY
AND YOU’RE SITTING THERE….YOU JERK
SO GRAB YOUR PEN FOLKS AND GIVE YOUR BOSS A SHOT
JUST WRITING THAT LETTER WAS FUN
MINE’S ALL STAMPED AND I’LL SHOVE IT IN THE SLOT
THE MINUTE THAT THEY TELL ME THAT I’VE WON
IF MY NECK HAD BEEN A LITTLE BIT SMALLER
AND MY DAD WORE A SIZE LARGER SNEAK
AND MY MOTHER STAYED IN LABOR JUST THREE MORE HOURS
I’D HAVE WON THAT SUCKER LAST WEEK
WHEN I WIN THE STATE LOTTERY, I’M GONNA BUY WHERE I WORK
GIVE ALL MY FRIENDS BIG SALARIES
AND GUESS WHO GETS FIRED? ….THE BIG JERK